《剑13》大作文解析及范文

纵观2018年上半年的雅思写作考试，同意与否（Agree or Disagree）类型的大作文占比较高，而其他题型的占比相对处于弱势状态。并且剑13再次强调了同意与否类型大作文的重视，“烤鸭们”需要在备考阶段注意强化同意与否类型大作文的审清题目、寻找立场、提论点、展开思路和深入论证等。

 

《剑13》Test 1 大作文解析及范文

 

“ Living in a country where a person has to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? ”

高分范文

 

01

Increasing numbers of people travel overseas or study abroad. During their stay, they speak the local language, which is  most likely to be a foreign language. Major practical issues and social problems may happen as a result of people’s oversea residency [“居住”].

 

02

The practical problems are multiple especially if a speaker cannot speak the foreign language proficiently [“熟练地”] or accurately. For example, a person who is illiterate [“不会读写的”] in in the foreign language may be unable to understand any signs or written instructions. More seriously, lack of proper skills of the local language, one may never find a job. The worst case is that an inarticulate [“说不清楚话的”] patient may be unable to describe his or her conditions and, as a result, to receive proper medical treatment.

 

03

In addition, it is fairly likely that a person has no social life when living in a foreign country, where a different language is spoken. Behind this phenomenon is also the person’s inadequate language ability. [倒装] Sincelanguage is the primary medium of communicating information and emotions, without language proficiency [“熟练度”] one can hardly beintelligible [“能被人听懂（清楚）的”] or comprehensible and thus has difficulty socializing. Also, social problems happen even when a foreign nationalspeaks the local language well. The more accurately the person speaks the language, the more likely is the undesirable situation that the person is trapped in the cultural conflict [倒装], because a language carries the ideology of a society. [长难句：两个比较级分句后再有状语从句]

全面的语法/句型点主要在于状语的多样性

 

04

In conclusion, in fairness [“公平说来”], living overseas and meanwhile speaking a foreign language, one is prone to have unpleasant encounters[可数名词，“遭遇/邂逅”]. To be specific, the practical problems and social issues may both bother the person.

 

《剑13》Test 2 大作文解析及范文

 

“ Some people think that people nowadays have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”
审题关键词：too, 贬义，含义是excessive，redundant

 

高分范文

 

01

Modern society is characterized by [“以xxx为特点”] material abundance [“物质方面的丰富”] and many lifestyle choices. Although many people think that theyare spoilt for choices [习语，“选择太多以至于无从选择”], I tend to think otherwise.

 

02

Admittedly, stores offer a wide range of commodities for people to choose from; however, what a shopper [语境下具体的人群，而不宽泛称为people/person] can actually afford is only a limited number of them. In addition, although job vacancies are plentiful, what an applicant [语境下具体的人群，而不宽泛称为people/person] is qualified or suited for is often only a few. The same principle applies to [“同样的原则适用于”] one’s personal life. Many single males or females [语境下具体的人群，而不宽泛称为people/person] may have the misconception that an ideal partner must be selected out of many candidates; as a matter of fact, they may never meet that many people or deserve many of them. In brief, one can be confined by [“受限于”] his or her capability, having [伴随状语]not too many choices. [特殊的段落结构：段落中心句在段落最后]

03

Another reason is that the existing variety of choices actually falls behindthe diversity of individual preferences. In other words, no matter how numerous today’s options are, the diverse personal desires are more. Those people who argue for the redundancy of choices adopt a rather narrow perspective and misconceive of the plenty of options as excessive existents. For example, when they choose a particular product, they may meanwhile consider other options unnecessary. However, taking a broad view, one may find that those seemingly excess options are popular among particular demographics and that there are many people’s needs that have not beenmet yet because what is available for people to choose from is still short. Hence, how could we think that the choices are too many?

 

04

In conclusion, people nowadays do not have many choices. Conversely, the options available are limited for both internal [“内在的/内部的”] and external[“外在的/外部的”] factors.

 

《剑13》Test 3 大作文解析及范文

 

“ Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.”

 

高分范文

 

01

[脱离八股，迅速直接的开头，已经明示了立场] No matter how eventful history is, it cannot compare with science and technology. Overall, the study of science and technology is more productive than that of history.

 

02

[先让步，说说认为历史重要的人的普遍认识] People draw principles from past events inthe hope that [同位语从句] the empirical knowledge [“经验主义的知识”] can apply to their future encounters. The idea is so widespread that few people areskeptical about [be skeptical about : “对xxx持有怀疑”] it. [转折批判前文所述的想法]However, it is actually a misconception [“错误想法”], and the study of history is likely to disappoint the numerous people who hold this view. Every tomorrow is unprecedented [“前所未有的”], and what will happen is hardly a repetition of what happened, and as a result, it may be useless to probe into[“探索”] history for lessons. Experience may get old, and in new conditions, it may have no use. The historians and teachers’ advocate for History is nothing but vulnerable defence of their careers.

 

03

In addition, the history on textbooks is not necessarily a truthful depiction of [“一种忠于真实的描述”] facts; it instead may be speculation [“猜测”] and sometimes prejudice [“偏见”] or lies. Some historians tamper with [“篡改”]evidence or fabricate [“编造”] stories for various purposes. Even though others have the integrity, they are unable to decipher [“解密”] mysteries or be persuasive in contentious [“引起争议的”] matters.

 

04

By marked contrast, science and technology are not subjective matters—ideas—but actual skills or substances, such as an electronic device or a chemical that physically exists. And the study of science and technology adopts a pragmatic view [“采用了一种实用主义的眼光”] and has been making tangible progress [“一直以来在做着看得见摸得着的进展”]. For example, the study of medicine will continue constantly finding cures for diseases and improving lives’ wellbeing, and the advances in farming and breeding [“耕种和畜牧/养殖”] will ensure that every mouth of the world’s population is fed. Humanity has a future, because of the vigorous [“倾力的”] study of science and technology.

 

05

In brief, without history, life would [含蓄/隐蔽的虚拟语气：没有用条件状语从句去直白明显地说出虚拟条件] not stop; however, without science and technology, life would [含蓄/隐蔽的虚拟语气] stand still [“静止不动”] or may even be hopeless.

 

《剑13》Test 4 大作文解析及范文

 

“ In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?”

这！是一个不频繁的指令类型（提问形式）。由于不需要选边站，所以这个题目的论证逻辑不难；但是，话题本身有那么丢丢难度。

（谢谢为本篇范文的TR做出贡献的柳xy同学）

高分范文

 

01

Despite [“尽管”，介词，后面接名词] the development of agriculture, famine still exists globally. This miserable situation happens for at least a couple of reasons; however, fortunately, it does not have to persist [（顽固地）存在，不及物动词]. 

 

02

The first reason is that [名词性从句作表语-表语从句] although farming and breeding have developed, the prices of agricultural products have not accordingly been reduced to affordable levels. It is not farmers to blame. As a matter of fact, after a harvest is reaped, it is collected by traders before shoppers can choose the produce [“农产品”] on the shelves of markets. Those intermediary businesses [“中间商”], including retailers[“零售商”] , raise the prices to profitable [“有利润的”]levels that are often too high. Another reason is the inaccessibility of some areas. The inconvenience transportrenders these areas out of reach of modern vehicles, and therefore, foodstuff cannot arrive where it is needed. 

 

03

One solution, in response to [“应对于”] the first reason above, is toregulate food prices and make basic foodstuff affordable for all people. For example, legislators [“立法者”] could intervene in [“介入干预”（褒义）]the pricing process and curtail the profits that may be excessive [“过度的”]. If [“如果”，条件状语从句] food prices could drop to reasonable levels, every household would afford enough food to feed every mouth. Another solution, to the second reason above, is to develop transportation. Since [“因为/既然”，引导原因状语从句] some regions whose food supply depends on imports may not have proper infrastructures [“基础设施”]of transport, such as roads, rail lines or airports, facilities must be constructed to ensure food delivery. 

[主体两个段落的核心/高频语法/句型点：状语从句]

 

04

In conclusion, although agriculture has been progressing [“进步/进展”，不及物], many people, around the world, still starve. A minimum of two reasons can account for [“解释”] this phenomenon, and two corresponding solutions are proposed. 

[良心话：最后这一句套话结尾不精彩却好安全也很省时间]

 

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