IELTS 大作文如何回应评分标准中的Coherence &Cohesion | 写作诊疗室

雅思写作四大评分标准中，大部分同学对词汇、语法、任务的回应都有比较好的认识或简单的了解，但是对coherence & cohesion（衔接和连贯）却没有什么概念。 因此，要在这个方面达到普遍的6分水平就会比较有挑战。

今天就跟大家来聊聊coherence & coherence这个模糊的概念，希望大家能够从知道这是个什么要求到能够很好回应这个要求，达到比较理想的写作分数。

什么是coherence & coherence？

Coherence：When something such as a piece of writing is easy to understand because its parts are connected in a clear and reasonable way（www.ldoce.com）

Cohesion: If there is cohesion among a group of people, a set of ideas etc, all the parts or members of it are connected or related in a reasonable way to form a whole（www.ldoce.com）

基于Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English 的定义，我们大概可以知道coherence & coherence指的是文章内部各部分的内容能够合理地连接在一起。

但是，仍然不太清楚二者的区别，更不太清楚怎样做到内容间合理地连接在一起。下面看 Merriam-Webster’s Advanced Learner’s English-Chinese Dictionary的定义：
Coherence：ideas are logical and well-organized: easy  to understand
Cohesive: ideas are closely united

通过以上两个资源的定义，我们可以这样理解：  coherence 连贯指的是“合理的逻辑”，即句间逻辑合理且段落划分清晰；cohesion衔接指的是“有效的衔接”，即句内、句间和段间的语言要用衔接词连接。

怎样才能做到逻辑合理，有效衔接？

这其实要求我们能够恰当地使用恰当、有效的衔接词。事实上， 衔接词使用的恰当与否，直接影响逻辑上是否合理清晰，所以二者紧密联系。下面我们来看一个段落：

Children nowadays have more problems. Children in general are not as sociable as previous generations of children, who used to spend more time playing with friends. Some children may feel lonelier and more isolated. They may be less imaginative than children in the past. They do not have to invent their own games and they spend less time reading books. 

在读的过程中我们会发现很“尬“，主要原因是句间没有任何的衔接词。同时，句间的逻辑关系并不清晰明了。那在词句能表达都比较好的情况下，我们怎样在衔接连贯这个层面去”拯救“或”优化“这个段落？大家可以看看加上以下括号内内容的段落情况：

Children nowadays have more problems. （Firstly，）children in general are not as sociable as previous generations of children, who used to spend more time playing with friends. （As a result,）some children may feel lonelier and more isolated.（Besides,） they may be less imaginative than children in the past （ because）they do not have to invent their own games and they spend less time reading books. 

加上以上的衔接过渡词后，整个段落读起来会很顺，不会尴尬； 最重要的是句间的逻辑关系也非常的清晰明了且合理。因此在平时的学习中我们要注意积累一些衔接过渡词。下面给大家补充一些写作中常见的衔接词汇:

1. 因果关系
因为：because/since/as/for/ considering that/ given that +句子（从句）, ....（主句）
because of /owing to/ due to/ in view of+ 名词，...
所以：for such reasons/ as a result / therefore/ consequently/ thus / hence/in consequence/ as a consequence/under these conditions,...
               ...., so/ so that/ the consequence of which is that....
 
2. 转折关系
...but/while/yet…
though/ even though / despite that/ in spite of the fact that..., ....
however/ nevertheless/ on the other hand, ...
 
3. 并列关系
and/ as well as/ either...，or.../ both...and...
also/ for one thing/ for another/  meanwhile/ at the same time, ...
 
4. 递进关系
Furthermore/ moreover/ further/ in addition (to)/ additionally / next/ besides, ...
not only...but also.../  more specifically/  in other words,...
 
5. 先后关系
first/ to begin with/ to start with/ first of all,...
second/ next/  afterwards/ since then/ prior to this,....
at last/ eventually/ last but not least/ to end with/ finally,...
 
6.举例关系
for example/  for instance, ...
...., namely/ like/ such as/ including +名词
a case in point is.../ a good example would be...
to detail this, I would like to.../take…as example
 
7.比较关系（相同点）
in comparison with/ when compared with/ compared with+名词 ,...
similarly/ likewise,....
like+名词, ....
 
8.强调关系
in fact/ definitely/  undoubtedly/  without a doubt/ undeniably/ naturally/ obviously , ...
what is  particular/ believe it or not,....
not to mention/ especially/ particularly+名词,...

怎样做到“形散而神不散”？

中文作文和英文作文有很大的相似度，文章内容也是需要通过某些纽带来衔接的，也就是我们刚刚所提到过得cohesion。但是， 如果我们文章中只能够使用以上我提到的衔接过渡词（我们可以称这些过渡词为“明线”）， 我们的作文是不能达到：“形散而神不散“， 这种高超境界的。

同理， 雅思大作文中假使我们也只能使用这些“明线”的话， 就coherence & coherence这个部分，我们的分数大概在6-6.5左右。如果我们写作单项要求7的话，大家在coherence & coherence这个方面就要练就“形散而神不散”的武功。那怎样才能做到不留痕迹？在分析研究了多篇高分范文和考官范文后， 小C 老师我发现了秘诀。这里，我就跟大家分享其中的一个秘诀：合理使用“暗线”，即不使用明确的连接词，而是借助上下文之间的语义承接关系来自然地承接上下文。

暗线1：使用代词或者限定词对前一句话里出现的内容进行指代，从而在前后句之间形成自然的承接关系。

代词： this/ these +名词 (指代上文一个、多个事物）
this+trend/ development/ experience (指代上文一句话)
they /their/ we/ us/ ours
限定词： the +noun
such + noun

下面我们就来分析一些范文，学习一下代词和限定词这条“暗线”的用法

例一：Traditionally, children have begun studying foreign languages at secondary school, but introducing them earlier is recommended by some educationalists. This policy has been adopted by some educational authorities or individual schools, with both positive and negative outcomes. (C9T1  Task 2  a very good answer)

解析：此处的them指代上一句的foreign languages，即避免了表达重复也无形中连接了上下句； this policy则指上文的一句话，使上下句间不留痕迹地联系起来。

例二：Local fixed line calls were the highest throughout the period, rising from 72 million minutes in 1995 to just under 90 million in 1998. After peaking at90 million the following year, these calls had fallen back to the 1995 figure by 2002.(C9T2 Task 1 a very good answer)

解析：此处的these calls 指代的是上一句的Local fixed line calls。用词虽然简单，但是却能够使上下句话之间无缝衔接。

通过以上的分析，大家现在应该认识到coherence & coherence其实就是要求文章中要使用恰当的方法使内容上有效衔接，逻辑上清晰合理。要做到这一点，我们首先要学会使用“明线”， 也就是一些明确的衔接词。 要做到更好，那就要学会使用“暗线”，也就是不使用明确的连接词，而是借助上下文之间的语义承接关系来自然地承接上下文。

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