”我天天练十篇雅思作文，最后还是只能得5分？！“常州雅思封闭学院分享

很多同学在面对雅思大作文的时候，总面临这样的一个困惑：我感觉我写得挺好啊，文章的立意和框架都没有大问题啊，到底是为啥我考来考去都只能拿个5？

小编想说无法有效提分的关键是：你不知道自己哪丢分了。阅读和听力可以通过不断练习和修正达到提高，但是作文考察的不仅是词汇语法这样的“硬实力”，同时也是有逻辑得推导和有层次得展开信息的“软实力”。

今天小编拿出一道典型的例题，让我们一起来体会一下“你平时是怎么丢分的”。

Learning to manage money is one of the key aspects of adult life. Therefore, some parents give their children money and ask them to manage it.

Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

What do you think is the best way for children to learn the management of money? 

[题目选自胡敏雅思第七代（高分版）的63页，有微调]

这样的题目，你会怎么答呢？可以拿出本子试着写一写~然后首先让我们来看一位同学的习作吧！

It is controversial practice that whether parents need to assign give money to teenagers their children, who may be teenagers or younger children, to manage. Some people argue that the head of the family parents should not allow this behavior do this, while others argue that parents should give their children opportunities to manage. Some people think that it is advisable for parents to do so, and others disagree.

Admittedly, children may not be unable to arrange money reasonable make proper arrangements as we originally expect. A child—for example, a teenager—whose judgement is inadequate and unsound, they are is more susceptible to something for likely to squander the money on entertainment—typically electronic games—than to spend it for meaningful purposes or to save it. They may take all the money to play the game. As a result, it the expectation is more likely to end up with being (as) a disappointment than to be met as a cheerful result. achieve the purpose of teaching them how to save the money.

However, as adolescences juveniles, if the children are juveniles, must accept more and more responsibilities when they move from childhood adolescence to adult lives adulthood. Proper financial management is an important area of responsibilities skill. For example, if they encounter see something they really want, they can use the money in advance, but when he finds that his money they find that their money is not enough, he they will consciously reduce some unnecessary expenses in days to come. As a matter of fact, decisions need to be made concerning the amounts of money that are allocated to the food and accommodation and such survival necessities. In this way they can learn to allocate money instead of asking parents for more money to purchase something they want. As a matter of fact, a certain degree of tolerance is needed when parents see children’s improper expenditure of money. Parents should understand that learning happens through mistakes. When children have to live on a tight budget later as a result of their overspending earlier, they may be conscious of their poor planning and learn to make a more thoughtful plan next time.

At this point, it is necessary regularly let the children report to their parents how they use the money. Therefore, if they can use their money reasonably, parents can make corresponding rewards, such as giving them the gift they want or increasing the management funds, so that the child may have the motivation to use money more rationally. 

In conclusion, it is advisable for parents to give children money, better in the form of weekly or monthly allowance, and ask them to use the money to as they see fit. Although there is no denying that the money may be poorly managed as the downside, the upside makes the act worthwhile. 

本篇文章老师的批改分数为：5分

主要存在的问题：1、审题上有偏差，答题思路不够深入严谨，逻辑不够通顺，论述不够清晰；2、选词上存在偏差，词汇上存在硬伤容易让考官出现“不是佳作”的印象，拉低分数， 3、行文中的部分句子表述存在问题，亦会给考官留下不佳的印象

拿到这样一篇文章，我们新航道的老师会如何批改呢？

蓝色部分为新航道教师的修改

红色的词汇为词汇方面的得分点解释

黄色阴影部分是学生习作中论述不妥当的地方

双斜线的方式是将学生大篇幅不恰当内容替换为教师建议的对应的内容

更多关于常州雅思培训，常州托福培训的内容，请在线咨询常州新航道老师哦！