2018年7月28日雅思大作文范文2 | 犯罪类话题怎么破?

7月28日雅思大作文范文

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens. Some people therefore think that they are the best people to talk to school students the danger of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? 

高分范文

01

Many criminals can be reformed people after they serve their time in jail. [习语表达：serve the/somebody’s time] Since their faults have been rectified [原形rectify], I would, if I were a school principal, [故意设计一个虚拟语气，丰富语法现象] invite those ex-criminals to help my teachers foster students’ good behavior.

02

The primary consideration is that [引导表语从句] those former offenders’ real-life cases are lessons that are more convincing than what an effective teacher could be. Teachers may [在这里不表可能性，表让步] demonstrate numerous examples in their classes; however, those cases may not be as authentic and compelling as they should be until they are told by an ex-criminal in person. Teachers may [在这里不表可能性，表让步] be role models in behavior; students may however develop no clear awareness of abiding by [abide by the rules unless they actually see the consequences of breaking them.[两个长难句组成此段落的重要内容，注意比较teachers和ex-criminals的对比，是内容设计的关键] Both situations are where [引导名词词组] reformed ex-criminals should be invited into classrooms.

03

In addition, teachers do not compare with [这个词组用主动语态时意义为“比得上”] ex-criminals for their likely patronizing [原形：patronize or intimidating [原形：intimidate] attitude is undesirable. Those corrected and changed criminals are otherwise humble. When patronized or frightened [原形：frighten], students, young and prone to be rebellious, may be provoked [原形：provoke] and act against rules knowingly. This is a risk that no school would like to take. Instead, a modest attitude is more welcome. Former criminals, unlike teachers, who may act like saints, are regretful about the harm and damage they have caused and thus often adopt a gentle and moderate attitude. [长难句]

[如果可以在body部分设计2-3个长难句，也就2-3个足够了，语言表述部分会有提分]

04

In conclusion, it is an adoptable proposition that  [引导主语从句] former offenders who have turned over a new leaf  [习语表达：turn over a new leaf] can be good teachers for students learning to behave. Since they have changed, they are safe. Most importantly, they have the potential to outperform professional teachers.